Moms and kids of all ages can relate to my post today. Please refrain from screaming profanity when you read this next sentence (seriously, I do not want to be responsible for you getting arrested due to unruly behavior). Remember the brand “Lunchable”, the perfectly proportioned sodium and preservative filled lunch option, that comes with a Capri sun? Remember the pizza lunchable the other kids at the lunch table would beg you for when you were lucky enough to bring it in a monogrammed lunch bag as an elementary student? Remember that little red stick you used to spread the sauce? Now that you are reliving third grade, imagine a world where there is no little red stick in your pizza lunchable. Well my friends, that day has come. Some dumb kid along the road choked on the stick and ruined it for all of us. Yeah, a Capri sun and a candy treat are great, but you can spread your sauce with a Kit Kat bar. Seriously Lunchable, could you have not invented an alternative sauce spreader that a kid won’t choke on? The other day, a friend and I were grocery shopping when we came across the Lunchables. We decided to get a variety to relive the golden days. We started with the nacho lunchable, and it was a wonderful experience. We moved on the the pizza and we were terribly surprised to find no red stick. We ended up spreading the sauce with our fingers. We had a good time but it was very messy. We are “mature” 21 year olds (eating Lunchables in a car), I can’t imagine 5-12 year olds spreading sauce with their fingers and licking them, playing around, and wiping bright red sauce on other kids clothing. If I were a mother I would boycott the pizza lunchable. Of course, I would never want to deprive my children of the delicious jealousy that comes along with bringing a lunchable to school, but I definitely wouldn’t want to have to buy a supreme load of OxyClean every other day either. So from now on, I’ll stick with the nachos until Lunchable decided to find a non-choke-able sauce spreader.
Until tomorrow… Cheers!!!